Why I’m ACTUALLY not posting – Getting Deep

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Before reading this very lengthy post, I want to assure you that once you pass my annoyingly long intro, it gets… interesting. If you are a blogger, especially, I genuinely request that you read till the end as it might start interesting conversations down in the comments.

 

Hey guys! I’m back after gone for almost two months again…
Anyway, I’d like to welcome my new subscribers…. HEYYYYYY…. THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE! (I’m using caps to show how happy I am that you guys have discovered this “infrequently-posted -on blog” and for some reason decided to follow it… please don’t leave.)
And if you’re reading this after being followed to this blog for a while… HEYYYYY... and I really, genuinely thank you so much for continuing to read, follow and support me.

As mentioned before, I’m posting after a long time again and honestly, it doesn’t feel that good. It’s not like I stopped thinking about my blog, I’d frequently come up with an amazing idea for a blog post, would think of writing it, but for some reason would never actually write it.Β Realising this led to a chain of thoughts as I tried to understand the reason behind my halted blogging habit – which is when it hit me.

When I started to blog, there was a rush of emotions – some were bad and some were good, but they were powerful. Either kind, these intense emotions guided my decisions. Knowing that I was in control of the manifestation of all my passions, interests and desires was what helped teenmemoir grow. Blogging was also where I could disappear into – my own little microverse. Being able to indulge in the best of my elements of personality, oh it’s such a beautiful feeling – I cannot even begin to describe it. It’s like getting lost in a book, and not wishing for it to end.

But what drove me to work on teenmemoir the most was being aware of my safe blanket of anonymity on the internet. Don’t get me wrong, I usually never talk about controversial topics. But my blog is still my blog, and no matter how much information I sought to give out or not give out, I still sort of inevitably do.

During my first blogging year only like 5 people I personally knew, knew about my blog. I wanted to keep it that way for some time until I’d become confident enough to let other people know. And honestly, it worked. After a year, I told my classmates, I created an Instagram page, and it was great. I received so many compliments on my blog and my writing. It encouraged me to do so much better.

However, after some time passed, something changed. I became very aware of who knew about my blog, who were the active readers and tried base my content off of the type of people who follow me. I didn’t want to make my content boring for my readers, especially since I knew who some of them were. At the same time, like every other teenager, I also began to form opinions on some of the greater issues of the world which I so desperately wanted to write about. I’d write something and then be too embarrassed to share it. This is also the reason why I felt like I had to private my most recent post.

Writing this post also took a lot of courage; but hey, we are all people. We are all imperfect, messed up people and do take no shame in admitting so.

If there’s anything I’d like to get out of this post it’s that I’m glad I realized what was holding me back and I hope that this realization will lead me to somehow grow and continue to build my blog. And yes, that means ya’ll can expect more frequent (in first-person) posts in the near future.

 

Until then, see ya!
Again, THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING (sorry, I really need the caps)
Bye,
Namitha

7 thoughts on “Why I’m ACTUALLY not posting – Getting Deep

  1. Ah, i related to so much of this! I used to have a blog before this one, which i deleted purely cause it was too public and out-there with the people i knew, and that really interfered with the writing process for me, you know?
    Like every time i got down to the biz, i would think, ‘Oh, what would this one think if i end up publishing this?’; and i don’t think i’ve still overcome that, although i’d really love to, and hope you can, too.
    This blog of mine is completely free of known followers, so that keeps me going, please do check it out.
    I love what you’ve done with the site by the way! Great layout, and the content, i think, speaks for itself. Keep writing, you’re clearly pretty great at it. πŸ™‚
    (Also, holy shit, did i just write an essay for a comment?)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I so get that! I hope we both overcome it πŸ™‚
      Thank you so much πŸ™‚ I’ve never thought I’m good at layouts and artsy stuff though… lol…
      Thanks so much for stopping by, will definitely check ur blog out πŸ™‚

      Like

  2. Hi! I know the feeling of being unsure if you can post something because of knowing people personally who follow you. I have a few friends that follow my blog and so does my Dad which is great and it is so supportive but there is also an element of ‘can I post this?’. You become aware of your followers. I try not to let that stop me too much and push through, and I encourage you to be the same! Write the blog for yourself, and forget about your followers. Then your blog is you. Does that make sense?

    Check mine out if you feel like it: https://joannemiriammulley.wordpress.com
    I have a fair few travel posts along with some general ramblings about life.

    Liked by 1 person

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